Wednesday, December 29, 2010

So Hard To Understand.....

Tonight for the 2nd time in my life I had to view a casket only 3ft long!! That is something that should just not ever occur. Surrounding this casket were pictures of an 8lb 6oz perfect healthy beautiful baby boy! Tomorrow I will have to view a casket 3ft long for the 3rd time.... 2 babies taken before they turned 2weeks old from 2 sets of parents 12 hours apart just can not be understood!! In life we don't see the full picture and may not ever understand the why in things but I hope these families find a way to make it through!!!

And it's over!!

Christmas is never really one of my favorite holidays. Too much Hoopla and drama. We didn't have a lot of drama this year only because we are so use to the same ol $hit we just don't really care anymore and the older kids are smart enough to see things on their own!!!! Hubs and I find it funny that as kids we stayed at our own homes and grandparents came to visit us and our mothers fixed the meals. So here we are the family trying to keep up that tradition by inviting everyone to our house and every year only my mother comes willingly and excited to see her grandkids Christmas Day!! Hubs finally told me this year NO MORE catering and taking up an entire 2 additional days to celebrate just because people don't want to come to our house Christmas Day!!! With 7 kids and a husband who won't always be off Christmas Day we have to do what works. His new rule is come Christmas Day or put it in the mail!! I'm so sure that will happen! Through it all we are learning how to make life easier on our kids once they have kids!!! :) Surely w/ 7 kids we'll get invited somewhere for Christmas! Although watch now my kids will fall into this new trend and expect me to host Christmas til I die!! So here comes the end of December.....That means HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!! May 2011 bring you many blessings!!

Monday, December 13, 2010

Take the time to see Christmas in the HEART of others!!

Most people comment to me "oh enjoy these years they grow up so fast" "oh if I could see Christmas in the eyes of a child again" I can not argue with any comments like that and it is precious don't get me wrong. But last night something more meaningful and more precious occurred. This in the heart of my 14yr old!!
As I posted last week about my heavy heart- I think it has affected us all. But last night on the way home it was just the older 2 kids and I driving hm. Red asked me if she could use her babysitting $$ to buy the little kids Christmas (she's saving for camp) I told her to use just x amount instead of from 2 nights. She didn't think it would be enough. Trying to remind her about it not mattering the amount but the love you put it in. So I suggested we go to the dollar store because the lil girls would love a coloring book or book from there. As we listed who else to buy for I said I don't even know what to buy for "Jennifer" What I wanted to get we just can't afford this year. I laughed and said "well unless ya'll don't want your gifts" a couple miles later Big C says just give me my cleats (he was there when we bought them and this would be pair #2 in 3mo) and take the rest back it'll be there in a year and I don't HAVE to have any of it. As he then got Red onboard proceeding to go inside and get Squeaks and Cani Bear to give up just one gift request. (they weren't having it). About half an hour passed and C came back to me. Mom I have $$$ in savings (used only for educational purposes) can I borrow from that and go buy what we discussed I'll pay my savings back with my Christmas $$$ this way nobody else has to give anything up!!! Fighting back tears I said "no we'll make it all happen you've proven a lot to me tonight and I'm glad to see the spirit of Christmas in your heart."
Actually he TAUGHT me a lot lastnight!!! I work off such a tight budget and try to keep everything so "equal" that I often let that get in the way of the whole picture. Sorry I get it from my mother who still makes sure my brother and I have the same # of gifts and the amount spent is within dollars of each other. (we live 3 states apart how would we ever know??)
So anyone who says they want to see Christmas through the eyes of a child....I'd much rather see it through the heart of a teenager ANYDAY!!
The item was purchased last night w/ about a 25% discount making it not much off the "budget" that can now burn in hell :) None of the kids sacraficed a gift and my son opened my eyes to the true joy of Christmas. And to the person who said to me "you have everything in the world you want there is not one single thing you desire for Christmas" Honestly NOPE not one damn thing. I have EVERYTHING my heart could EVER desire and then some!!!!! It makes me sad that so many people really do have wants when they have EVERYTHING right in front of them they just don't take the time to enjoy it!!! Thank You Big C for having a heart of gold!! To think a family member called him immature this Summer....There are grown men who haven't a heart THAT selfless and sincere!!!

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Word of The Month.....

CANCER- Not prejudice against age race or sex. A disease that has a mind of its own and is a real A$$hole!!! (not quoted from Webster)

I sit here with a heavy heart because of this monster. All of the cures for so many things and this one continues to kick the ass of the human race! Last week it was an adult I was concerned with being diagnosed with the disease. Then Sunday I find out a friend from childhood has a 4yr old daughter who has a brain tumor. She had surgery yesterday to see if there will be any treatment to try. My heart breaks for a child I've never met and I think any mother reading this just got a knot in their stomach. A healthy happy 4yr old one day to this..... makes me remember there are no guarantees in life! If that's not enough from this Beast Big C has a friend who I believe has lymphoma. When he told me this this Summer I couldn't give my son false hope. I told him to stand up for his friend if anyone picked on him, to be a friend to him always and above all to pray for his friend. But to realistically know he may not ever graduate from high school...That friend is not doing well. 63-15-4 you just never know what life has in store for you!! I have just looked at my kids today and tears fill my eyes. I just couldn't imagine.... so this holiday season I am reminded to cherish every moment~ make fabulous memories for my children~ and remember there are no guarantees those who are with you this Christmas will be there the next!! Old~ Young~ Healthy~ Sick no guarantee

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Oh almost forgot...


He'd been taking steps for a couple weeks but I'm tough on my kids... they don't get credit until they walk more than they crawl!! So he got up Monday the 15th and decided his feet were perfect transportation! By the end of that week he was trying to run!! Watching a baby walk just never gets old!! So funny!